Not to be redundant but...

No one says it quite like Jenna Marbles.
Airports can suck a d.

Just bitchin'

Here has been my day:

Woke up long before the sun, which really isn't saying much in Paris because the sun doesn't even rise until 9:00 am, at an ungodly 6:30 am. We were picked up by Mr. Toad's Wild Ride and driven to the Paris International Airport. Mentally preparing ourselves for the 11 hour flight ahead of us to Dallas, we boarded the plane. 20 minutes later, a heavy french accent comes on the speaker and informs us that the fog is too bad and we won't be able to depart until it clears. Moans and groans fill the cabin and the ethereal voice commands us to stay in out seats.

Over an hour later, we are preparing to take off.

I have spent over 14 hours today sitting on my ass. And my ass is not happy about it.

We finally make it back to the US and I am now writing to you from the Dallas airport. Because of the delay in Paris, we missed our connecting flight set to depart at 6:00 pm to Denver by mere moments. We are now on the flight that leaves Dallas at 9:40.

So, we are trapped in this god forsaken airport WITHOUT ANY WIFI, without our luggage (which I pray to baby Jesus made it back to Denver without us), and without any sleep.

My day has been long, we have been up for over 24 hours and all I have eaten is crap.

I loved our Paris trip, it is by far one of my favorite cities. However, traveling abroad is not something I plan on doing lightly or frequently in the future. I would be 100 pounds heavier and I would have ripped my hair out many times over.

I can't wait to be home in my own bed.

Xo

k

Christmas is about seeing the good in the world.

Day 5:

Christmas time brings people together. It is a time to set aside your differences and do the right thing to anyone and everyone. It is a time to show the people in your life what they mean to you, to show that your treasure their love and that the love is returned.

So, today, I want to talk about all the things I hate.

This includes, but is not limited to:

1. Ke$ha (no fucking way that's what's on your birth certificate)
2. "Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer"
4. Napoleon Dynamite
5. Fleece pajamas
6. Moon Boots (If you want something hideous on your feet, stick to Uggs sweetheart)
7. Uggs
8. Any song Donny Osmond sings or even thought about singing.
9. Nonpareils (I had a bad experience once)
10. Life sucking bitches (sorry about the hostility, thinking of nonpareils sends me right to that dark place)

Back in the Christmas spirit, these are some of the things I love and am lucky to have in my life right at this moment;

1. My mom
2. Cholula Sauce
3. Christmas in Paris (Duh)
4. My dad
5. Breaking Bad
5. University of Colorado
6. Spring break tickets to Mexico!!!!!!
7. Steve Madden
8. Friends that love me unconditionally
9. Faux fur - anything
10. Wine

Merry Christmas!

xo k

Let me shop, damn it!

Day 4:

Fashion in Paris = black

I saw one red scarf today on a local (or at least, assumed local) woman. Everyone else? Black. Head to toe. Maybe a gray belt to spice things up a bit.

All sarcasm aside, they look fantastic in the inky garb. Chic and sophisticated. And, I am happy to report, not a yoga pant in sight. 

So guess what is on my Christmas shopping list? Correct! Black, head to toe.

Today, I did my best to beef up the dark side of my wardrobe, but all I came home with; black boots. Albeit, stunningly, adorable black boots, but still, just a single pair of shoes. The one item purchased thus far on this shopaholics trip in Paris, the fashion capital of the world. 

Want to know why that's all the success I have had? Let me assure you, it is not a lack of stores or conservative spending that has kept my purchases so minimal. Instead, I point my finger at the men that are accompanying me on these shopping outings.  The boots were the only thing I could buy in the allotted ONE HOUR my brothers and dad permitted me to shop today! I am in PARIS and you allow me ONE single hour on the Champs-Elysee??!  Are you kidding me??

It's like I'm dying of thirst and they showed me a picture of a glass of water. 

There is a special circle in hell reserved for you three.

The 26th is reserved for 24 hours of mother/daughter shopping. And no man will stand in our way.

xo k

Paris is giving me scurvy

Day 3:

Today was another day of excessive eating and sightseeing.

The biggest thing to report is that I am pretty sure I have scurvy.

Yes, I am talking about the ailment of pirates and sailors in the 18th century from a vegetable and fruit deficiency. I am aware that I am not a pirate and nor is this the 18th century but as it turns out, it is not super healthy to live off of cheese, bread, and wine. I know, its shocking. I know you thought that wine basically covered the fruit and maybe even vegetable categories, so did I!  But alas, it does not. And thus, the scurvy sets in.

But other then my rapidly diminishing health and my inability to survive without my local Whole Foods, the spoiled Boulderite brat that I am, I fit right in here in Paris. I have the pale skin, dark hair, dark eyes, medium height, and am a little heavy on the sarcasm. My mother however, the little, blonde, mama meshugana she is, stands out like fresh lettuce in a French brasserie. A foot shorter then everyone around here, she marches through town with an excessive bounce in her step to compensate for her lack of height.

This woman no shame when it comes to documenting our Paris getaway. Not only will she shove the nice Korean couple on their honeymoon out of the way for a picture of her children in front of the Eiffel Tower, but she went as far as to disregard any "No Photography" sign in the Museum Dorsay. You know Van Gough's famous self portrait with the teal background? Oh, we have that. She used a flash and everything. The moment her guilty flash went off, her camera was quickly stowed and all the museum's patrons glared in our direction. Not a single one suspected the pint sized, blonde, mother of three and so off we went, to relentlessly damage priceless works of art and annoy the bejesus our of our fellow museum visitors.

xo k

I love this country

Day 2:

I love any country where wine counts as a basic food group. Here, you have cheese, bread, ham, chocolate, and wine. Still hungry? Have a Marlboro Light on the side.

I may have died and gone to heaven. Everything I have eaten would make my grandmother cringe. So bring on the goat cheese and the pomme frites! Not a salad (worth eating) in sight. Unless you want a mayonnaise dressed patch of wilted weeds, then more power to you.

The sights are beautiful. First stop, saw the Eiffel Tower today, pretty distinguishable as far as buildings go. Also, the Arc de Triomphe, I'm pretty sure I saw it on a post card or something once, very cool at night with a fantastic view of the city from the top. Well at least so I hear. Technically speaking, we didn't make it to the top of any buildings. My dad has a fear of heights and mom and I were enjoying our well balanced meals of wine and cheese far too much to risk a wobbly walk to anything higher then the steps up to the Louis Vuitton store. But when I got back to the apartment, I googled what it looks like from the top, and it's pretty spectacular.

xoxo k

Blogging from Paris

Day 1:

Holy fucking jetlag. Excuse my French.

Today, yesterday, this week, whatever day it is - we flew from DIA to Heathrow and then the quick jump to Paris. With an 8 hour time difference and 2 hours of sleep under my belt I am pooped. Everyone is a little on edge and the language barrier doesn't help. Oh yeah, did I mention LANGUAGE BARRIER?!
Alright mom, dad, I am SO happy to be here but um...maybe someone should have given this little detail a teeny bit of thought. Those travel books are 100% correct that people are nice and want to speak English to you as long as you at least give a little effort, try to speak French. Easy enough, right? WRONG. Here are the phrases my family knows in french:
Bonjour
Au revior
Merci

and that's all...
Let me tell you, when you want to order the Salmon at dinner without the hollandaise sauce, saying "merci," grunting, and pointing does NOT get the point across. At least I can be happy none of us have just yelled in English in the hopes of a better response from the natives.

Thank God for the free WiFi, with the help of google translate, for now we can inform our hosts of our incompetence with a little, "Desole, je ne parle francais." - or something along those lines. It's the thought that counts?

After a meal of foie gras and a croque monsieur, we're off to finally catch up on some sleep.

xoxo k

I'm Starving and REALLY should be studying.

I am writing to you from my local Starbucks with a growling stomach, studying for my last midterm tomorrow morning. This is my first time in all of college I actually feel as though I fit the starving student stereotype. It is not that my parents won't give me money for food, they are generous. It is not that I am unable to go to the grocery store, I have a car filled with gas. The truth is that I have been busy. Too busy in fact to realize I was starving and then too busy to do something about it.

I had a lot of homework assigned over break. 6 papers, a test, and a group project to be exact. And I did exactly 0% of it. So now I am paying the price of my procrastination. Although, all I want in this world is a tub of peanut butter on toast, that would require me walking home, getting in my car, and driving to shop. I don't have the time! I don't even have the time to be writing this blog! So I'll make it quick.

As I sit here and feel my stomach attempt to digest non-existent food, for all that is in it is two shots of expresso and artificial sweetener (thank you for the giftcard mom!) I am too weak from starvation (or some wealthy white girl version of starvation) to make it home to make the trek to the grocery store. Plus there is the small detail that over break I may have spent most of my grocery money at Forever 21, which seemed like a good idea but unfortunately there is not a lot of nutritional value in faux fur.

So, I've been living off leftover thanksgiving pies, again thank you Mom, you always have my back. But apparently, a diet of butter and sugar with a chocolate drizzle doesn't count as a nutritional meal. Who knew? My childhood fantasy of dessert for every meal is not nearly as epic as I had imagined.

So I continue my studies, feeling the aches and pains of not eating.

I'm a Hypocrite: Yoga Pant Ramblings

On a further note, after waking up in a pool of self-loathing, I decided, you know what self, I'm not going to shower, not going to brush my hair, going to wear my glasses, and I'm going to wear my pajamas and head to class. I just decided, I'm going to look like a hobo and everyone in class will just have to plug their noses and look the other way. To my surprise, I BLENDED RIGHT IN. I did not stand out in the slightest but I looked like every other half asleep girl in my recitation. I have been way too narcissistic not to notice the little bits of egg and cheerios in the hair of the other girls in class.

Even though I did indeed partake in the yoga pants and cheerios look, that does not mean that I should ever again or that any other girl at school should either. Unless you just pulled an all-nighter studying for a final, your dog died, or your boyfriend just dumped you, you have no reason why you can't slip into a pair of jeans. If you did have some traumatic even happen to you the night before, you have a 24 hour period where no showering and yoga pants are acceptable. Not to act like the fashion police, but HELL NO LADIES. I deserve 10 lashes for my public indecency and so do you. Yoga pants are for yoga. AMEN.

Dinner Time with Lawyers

Here is the outline for a standard dinner with the Marylander's.

Katie: I (being the opinionated 19 year old college student I am) believe X.

“X” can be anything from my opinion on government officials to my favorite pizza topping.

Mom: Why is that your opinion? Please include statistics and be prepared for follow up questions.

Katie: I believe X because of A,B, and C.

Dad: I see where you're coming from, but here is why you are wrong, “[insert insight]”

Katie: Questions/comments/concerns regarding said “insight”

Mom: Have you considered Y?

Katie: Y may be true but X is what I believe. Let me clarify, it is not simply X that I believe, but it is Q,R, and S about X that I do.

Mom: Q and R are good points. But really? S? You can do better.

Dad: Have you considered blogging about it?

Joey: CAN WE GET BACK TO ME!?

Thank you family, for making me the writer I am and giving me the opportunity to have opinions, voice them, and truly understand what they mean. I am wise beyond my years due to night after night of these conversations.

KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS MR. CONGRESSMAN

So explain this to me, do you sign a contract when you become a politician that requires you to do some sexually repugnant act? or does it just give you permission to whip out your wanker whenever and wherever you please? The rich and powerful men running our country just can't seem to keep it in their pants. They are either having a love child with the hired help, putting half naked pictures of themselves on the internet, or sending pictures of their shlongs to some very unlucky ladies. No matter where you look, there's another middle aged statesmen's in tighty whities flexing in the mirror. PUT IT AWAY! No one wants to see that! Keep your wee little pecker tucked away where it belongs.

It was recently uncovered that the obnoxious democratic congressman from New York Anthony Weiner is making attempts at not only fulfill his end of the dong-contract, but also to live up to his name. Weiner has put his weiner in the lime light. He was caught “sexting” (isn't he too old to know what that is?) various women and sending them pictures of his concave chest and unfortunate package in “cock shot 2011” (Jon Stewart). After pictures of his erect penis surfaced on Twitter, Weiner went on national TV and lied about having any knowledge the lewd photographs. Liar liar pants on fire. What did you expect? Someone else was going to take responsibility for your breakfast sausage?

Weiner then came clean and claimed ownership of his winky, admitting publicly to being a perv. Here's the kicker folks, not only is Weiner a married man, but he's a married man with a baby on the way! Why someone would ever agree to procreate with this man is beyond me (closed her eyes and counted to ten?). His wife is not just a piece of arm candy to take to political rallies, although she is light years out of his league, she is Huma Abedin who just so happens to be BFFs with the Clintons. Our dear congressman is screwed, and not in the way he had hoped. His only hopes of staying politically active is in the hands of his betrayed wife and let me tell you buddy, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. 

Growing Up

 Freshman year of college, check. What did I learn in this psuedo-real world? I've learned what my parents are paying the big bucks for, something academic. Yes folks, I said academic, quite a difference from my less than satisfactory education courtesy of Niwot High School. At Nitwit, my education consisted of bull shitting my way through every class and smiling my way to As. This strategy doesn't quite fly at the University level. Now I can tell you the origins of syphilis, the causes of the deterioration of newspapers, and all about our evolution from the apes. I worked harder in my first week of classes then I did in all of my senior year of high school. I also learned a lot about myself. I moved out from the ever watchful eye of my dearest mother and found that, hey, I can do my own laundry and make my own bed. I found that I am a good judge of character. I rid my life of the people that bring me down and let the people in that raise me up. I'm looking out for myself, telling people how to treat me, I guess, I'm a big girl now.

Above all else, I learned that this is the best time of my life. It is the only time I can be completely selfish. Now, before you jump to the conclusion that this girl is far too into herself, hear me out. This is the only time in my life where I am living rent free (thanks mom and dad), living with all my friends, and most importantly, I have no responsibility to anyone but myself. There is no husband counting on me or children who need me. I am on my own, no strings attached, and I am loving every moment. I'm doing stupid things; running from the cops, getting in cars with strangers, giving my heart away, drinking the punch, and not giving any of it a second thought. This is the time in my life to be stupid and selfish and I am doing just that. So for all of you future scholars, embrace it!!! This is as good as its going to get.

Argument Paper anyone?? Federal Funding of Planned Parenthood

 Planned Parenthood is a health center directed primarily at women and teens focusing on their reproductive health as both a health care provider and as an advocate. In recent months, there has been a Republican-driven movement to stop financially supporting Planned Parenthood. Those involved in this movement say that Planned Parenthood should be federally defunded. They submit that the government should not give money to help fund America's largest abortion provider because they are therefore supporting abortions. Some believe that Planned Parenthood is not in its clients’ best interest, raising concern about their safety. It is also thought that Planned Parenthood is not a significant healthcare provider and those who rely on it can seek medical attention elsewhere. However, these claims are untrue and the federal government should always continue to fund Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood cannot, by law, use federal funding to support their abortion services, but they can provide clean, safe, and legal abortions through private funding. Also, Planned Parenthood is a safe outlet to help men and women who would not otherwise seek help, keeping them out of emergency rooms. Finally, Planned Parenthood is not only a significant healthcare provider, but for some, the only source they have. Not only does Planned Parenthood provide medical attention for its patients, but the organization also leads the reproductive health and rights movement, protecting the rights of Americans.

Arizona Senator, Republican Jon Kyl is among those who believe that Planned Parenthood should not receive federal funding because of their contribution to the abortion industry. He took the Senate floor and stated that 90% of what Planned Parenthood does is provide abortion services (Robertson). This claim is wildly untrue because in reality, only 3% of Planned Parenthood's total services are related to abortion assistance. Senator Kyl received criticism from people such as Jon Stewart from the Daily Show for this blatant lie that he said it wasn’t intended to be taken as a factual statement. In actuality, Planned Parenthood receives funding from the federal government from the Title X Family Planning Program and from Medicaid, both of which are prohibited from funding abortion activities. According to the Department of Health and Human Services, Title X is banned from providing money to support abortions (Robertson). Similarly with Medicaid funding, under the Hyde Amendment, can only be used to fund abortions in cases of rape, incest, or when the mother's life is endangered. Any claim by the opposition that states that Planned Parenthood is using the federal government's money toward abortions is completely false and is already protected by law (Robertson). The defunding of Planned Parenthood over this fictitious allegation would be inappropriate.

Although the federal government currently does not financially support Planned Parenthood's abortion services, they are still provided and should continue to be available. They offer a clean, safe, and legal way for women to obtain abortions. Most Planned Parenthood clinics offer two types of abortion, in clinic abortions and the abortion pill. The in clinic abortion is a medical procedure; it can be either an aspiration procedure or a dilation and evacuation procedure. Similarly, the abortion pill is a medication that can be taken to end an early pregnancy in a safe and effective way. All of these methods are safe, legal and effective. Abortion is a service for which there will always be a market, regardless of whether it is legal or not, through dangerous and unsafe back-alley procedures. Planned Parenthood offers a dependable and healthy way to get an abortion for those who would procure one by any means possible, regardless of its legality and does so without federal funding but through private donations. Although federal funding is not used for abortion services, it is still essential to the other resources of Planned Parenthood.

Those who believe that Planned Parenthood does not have it's clients best interest at heart base their notions on the undercover operations of Live Action, a pro-life and anti-abortion group. Live Action members posed as child sex workers to deceive and discredit Planned Parenthood employees. Associates of Live Action, attempted to expose Planned Parenthood for condoning sex trafficking in the US and not reporting these instances. However, in January 2011, approximately 11 Planned Parenthood clinics around the US were approached by these people and were both reported by Planned Parenthood as being suspected sex traffickers as well as being possible frauds (Planned Parenthood). Employees quickly informed officials of this deceit and openly condemned sex trafficking. This ploy of those involved with Live Action was quickly foiled and those attempts to discredit Planned Parenthood in an attempt to stop their abortion services. In reality, women are in very safe hands at Planned Parenthood for they are safely receiving procedures, services, and information. Its employees are medical professionals, a majority of whom have devoted their careers and some their lives, to all that Planned Parenthood stands for (Planned Parenthood). These women, men, and teens would be at greater risk without the support Planned Parenthood offers. It is almost certain that teen pregnancy rates would rise, the abundance of sexually transmitted diseases would increase, and there would be more frequent unsafe abortion practices for contraceptives are among the most common resources used at Planned Parenthood. Without federal funding, the availability of these resources would decrease greatly inhibiting the safe sex practices of Americans.

According to Planned Parenthood, “For 95 years, millions of women and men have turned to [them] for vital sexual health care services, sex education, and sexuality information” (Planned Parenthood). This includes information and services that those individuals would not otherwise have been able to obtain. Of the three million patients, 75% are living 150% below the poverty line (Planned Parenthood). They can receive the medical attention and information they need at Planned Parenthood without breaking the bank of their already strict budget. These people are not in a position to use other, more conventional means of procuring sexual health services. Some cannot afford other sources of medical assistance and should not be further inhibited by taking away some of the Planned Parenthood's resources they rely on. These resources are a primary reason these people and families are able to live healthier then they would otherwise be able because of their extreme poverty. In the case of Susan Loyacono from Kansas City, Planned Parenthood saved her life when no one else would. She did not have health insurance and got increasingly ill until she began to hemorrhage. She called Planned Parenthood who was the only company willing to help her, they saved her life (Sherman). In this case, and in many others similar to it, Planned Parenthood demonstrates how they have become an asset to the American people, and can continue to do so with continued funding from the federal government. They are assisting the US medical system and deserve the government's full support.

Planned Parenthood is also responsible for much of the international sexual health services in developing countries. They “provide health care and education through local partners and advocate for sound U.S. foreign policies that affect sexual and reproductive health and rights globally,” (Planned Parenthood). They assisted 1,200,000 individuals in 10 developing countries with sexual health needs who otherwise would have remained untreated and uneducated (Planned Parenthood). For example, in northern Nigeria, Planned Parenthood has turned their attention to educating the citizens who live in a place with “strong cultural and religious taboos around sexuality, widespread poverty, and unreliable infrastructure,” (Planned Parenthood). Here they are also implementing four local organizations to provide sexual health assistance in a very lacking community (Planned Parenthood). Although the funding for the organization's international efforts is not from the United States federal government but from private donations and contributions from other nations, without federal funding to support Planned Parenthood's work in the states, the international assistance would not be possible. All of Planned Parenthood's funds would be limited to the minimum in the US alone.

Additionally, Planned Parenthood is a well known advocate, leading the reproductive health and rights movement in the United States and around the world. Beginning in the 1960s, an organized movement to legalize abortions and change public policies regarding women's health was rapidly growing (Norsigian). Women's health centers as well as publications began to emerge in the 1970s (Norsigian). Today, Planned Parenthood has assumed the role of sexual health advocate. They have been vocal on campuses, in statehouses, in the media, and predominantly online, “advocat[ing] for policies that enable Americans to access comprehensive reproductive and sexual health care, education, and information,” (Planned Parenthood). They have formed a political subdivision called “Planned Parenthood Action Fund” which is an independent, nonpartisan non-profit group, fighting a political battle. “The Action Fund engages in educational and electoral activity, including legislative advocacy, voter education, and grassroots organizing to promote the Planned Parenthood mission”(Planned Parenthood Action Center). Quickly after President Obama's election, Planned Parenthood launched a large campaign for health care reform including phone calls to Congress, e-mail contacts, letters to the editor, town hall meetings and petitions to Congress. Greatly due to the Planned Parenthood supporters and efforts, in March 2010, President Obama signed the most extensive healthcare reform and legislative advancement for women's health since the enactment of Medicare and Medicaid (Planned Parenthood Action Center). Without the advocacy of Planned Parenthood this positive change in America may not have been possible. They bettered the lives of millions of Americans by using their resources on a national level, making political changes to protect and ensure their health. They have banned together millions of Americans to make dreams of a better healthcare system and the assurance women's health rights a reality.

The outrageously untrue claims made by those who believe Planned Parenthood should be defunded should be quickly disregarded. There is no foundation in these allegations. Planned Parenthood needs to continue to be funded by the United States federal government. Their abortion services are funded by entirely separate entities, unrelated to the federal funds from Title X and Medicaid. Therefore, the reasoning behind the assertion that Planned Parenthood’s abortion services warrant its defunding has no justification. With or without federal funding, Planned Parenthood provides safe and legal abortions to those women in needs but the federal funding is key to finance their other resources. They have created a safe environment for all people to seek out sexual health services that has assumed an essential role in the United States healthcare system. Furthermore, they provide healthcare to those in need, not just within the US, but also on a global scale. Without their devout efforts, millions of people would suffer from lack of easy to access and inexpensive medical services and education. Additionally, they have lead the fight for the sexual health and rights movement in the US, therefore making a difference not only on a micro level, but on a macro one. Planned Parenthood stands to “improve women’s health and safety, prevent unintended pregnancies, and advance the right and ability of individuals and families to make informed and responsible choices,” (Planned Parenthood). They successfully reach their goals and don't need the federal government to belittle the importance of their actions.

Liar liar, pants on fire

My new year's resolution was to stop lying. The occasional white lie would be acceptable but a rarity. I have been doing pretty well thus year on my honesty binge but this week in class I had a major yet accidental slip up.

I was sitting in the second row, dead center in my anthropology class, just as I do every Tuesday and Thursday, rapidly taking notes as my professor teaches in the 400 person lecture hall almost completely packed with students. What I didn't notice as I was frantically scribbling down the definition of phenotype, is that about half the class had their hands raised. I thought to myself, whatever I'll just raise my hand to the second option. (Now, why I feel the need to raise my hand at all, is beyond me, it's just an impulse, I had to do it.) He asks the second question and before I know it, I am raising my hand (with only 3 other people in the entire lecture hall). And what do you know? I am claiming to be blood type AB. What the what?! Me and only 11% of the entire world, the rarest blood type around. This is a complete and total lie. I am blood type A-.

So my professor turns to me, sitting front and center. Has me STAND UP and tells me how rare I am, so rare in fact, that I am weird. Oops. All eyes on the liar in the second row. Too late now to back out. So I'm just going with it. Digging myself a bigger hole by the minute.

For some god forsaken reason I continue to tell him and the class I donate blood regularly. (Now in truth, I have donated twice in my life and passed out the second time. They encouraged me not to come back.)

My friend in the class turns to me and says, “That is so cool! I didn't know that about you.” Slightly blindsided, I gave her a knowing smile, like, yes, I hear that all the time.

Now my professor continues to use me as an example of co-dominance for the rest of the lecture always remarking on how rare I am.

What have I learned from this experience? Don't raise your freaking hand unless you know why your raising it!!!

Liar liar, pants on fire.

Poor Judgement or Good Luck...

Sooo...it's my 19^th birthday and dear Chelsea has some amazing party for us to attend. The only downside is that it's on 28^th and Colorado. I know what you're thinking, and yes, that sounded like a very substantial walk to me too. Going would be a commitment. Nonetheless, we decided to go, brave the arctic gusts and make our way to this apparently epic party (and by epic I mean 5 guys and a handle of Vanilla McCormicks).

We are making our way our of Libby Hall and a Range Rover pulls up next to us. Expecting the usual, “You drinking tonight ladies?” request, we are caught off guard when he offers us a ride.

“To where exactly will you be taking us, random bearded guy driving the Range Rover?” I inquired, and where does he tell us, you got it, party at 28^th and Colorado. Just our luck! (If I had been thinking straight, this would have tipped me off and I wouldn't have been surprised that this “party” was 5 guys and a handle of McCormicks.)

Now mom, if you're reading this, I know you're cringing and praying that I didn't get in the car and I give you my full permission to stop reading now and continue believing that I always practice my best judgment and that I went back to the safety of my 10x10 room with Becca and played Apples to Apples. Go on now. Close the screen.

Without a moments hesitation I hear, “SHOTGUN!” from my left and Chelsea is already in the passenger seat. Jessica and I follow suit and only pause long enough to ask the random bearded Range Rover driving guy his name, Will. Sounds like a respectable name, so without a second thought I'm buckled in and on my way to 28^th and College.

Moral of the story. It's okay to trust him if he drives a Range Rover.

Cookies, not even once.

I live in an all you can eat buffet. This would is not a problem for those who know how to practice any self control, but unfortunately, I do not fall under that category. I never really learned the concept of “portion control.” It is near impossible for me to walk by the rows of cookies, warm and fresh out of the oven, and not stop and eat one, two or five. This has become a serious problem. It is now no longer only hurting myself (thank you freshman fifteen) but it has begun to hurt my relationships.

The other day, I was walking out of the C4C dining hall with my hall mates when we decided to stop and take a look at the deserts (here's my first mistake). I told myself, Katie, you already had three cookies at lunch, no cookies for dinner (second mistake). Now, not only do I already want a warm sugar cookie, I want them even more now that they are off limits! Standard “want what you can't have” scenario. By now, I am standing over the desserts, literally drooling. My friends start filing out of the dining hall while I am glued to my spot overlooking the cookies. Chelsea, my hall mate, gentle grabs my arm to encourage me to leave with the rest of our crowd. Here's how I know I have a problem. I literally, GRABBED the counter top, resisting leaving the cookie's side. I physically resisted her gesture to stare at the cookies. They say the first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem. Alright, here it goes. I have a serious cookie problem.

19 Things I've Learned in 19 Years

19 things I've learned in 19 years

1. Only you know what makes you happy.
2. There is no one right answer.
3. Live in the moment.
4. No matter how hard you squint, you can't use the “force” to turn flip the light switch.
5. People will love me, even if I'm out of my mind.
6. Googling baby animals is a honorable way of passing the time.
7. Forgive but don't forget.
8. Pick your friends wisely, and your roommates wiser.
9. Mom is always right.
10. Getting your heart broken really does suck.
11. Procrastination doesn't always get you into trouble.
12. Always remember your “pleases” and “thank yous.”
13. A smile can get you in any door.
14. Its all about who you know, not what you know.
15. I will never in my life, be allowed to be this selfish again.
16. Doughnuts are the lifeblood of my soul.
17. Protect your heart.
18. Avoid detox.
19. Being yourself is sometimes the hardest thing to do.