For those of you who don't know this game let me tell you how it works - you give a friend, or many friends, a list of 3 people. They HAVE to chose which one of these people the'd fuck, which one they'd marry, and which one they'd kill.
I'm home alone right now, so I am going to play myself, and play by my own rules.
Alright self - fuck one, marry one, kill one. GO.
Fuck One:
Amanda Bynes.
This is just as much for me as it is for her. She has been in some legal trouble lately with her alleged DUI (bad girl!) and her career as been shrinking faster then her cheeks have been expanding. It's about that time in her career for a lesbian moment. Shake things up a bit, get people to notice her, maybe she can chalk her mistake of operating heavy machinery right after a vodka IV drip to a sexual identity crisis.
This is for me because I try to do one nice thing for someone else every week. I will take this one for the team, Amanda. Plus, her voice makes me want to round-house kick her. So I'm figuring this is the next best thing.
Marry One:
This is the hardest of all the questions. I have high standards and marriage is FOR LIFE. Scary shit.
This is why, to find my potential husband, I Googled "Oldest billionaire alive," which would make me the future Mrs. Walter Haefner. Walter is a 101 year old software mogul worth 4.5 billion dollars. You know what they say, life is short.
(for those of you thought I would pick Mark Zuckerberg - he has no soul. I have standards.)
Kill One:
Ke$ha.
Easiest choice I have made today. She brings absolutely nothing to the table. She has a money sign in her name because $he think$ $he'$ the $hit. (SEE KE$HA! I CAN DO IT TOO!)
Here is why I am always hating so hard on Ke$ha:
1.) She has no awesome celebrity gossip - so what good are you?
2) She can't spell
For example:
Tik Tok
We R Who We R
Ke$ha
Grow a Pear
xo,
K
2 comments:
Keee$$ha looks like that guy with the massive forehead from Twilight jizzed on her face everyday. I have never seen her without globs of glitter covering that gnarly ass mug of hers.
I would fuck Amanda Bynes on the grounds that she is extremely hot. Even if her cheeks are fake. Look at her Maxim photos... mmmmm
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